Caring about people is very different than caring for people. Being responsible to others is not the same as being responsible for others. Pleasing yourself by honoring the relationships in your life by being loving and respectful may not be the same thing as being a people pleaser. The first examples I provided: caring about, being responsible to and pleasing yourself include healthy boundaries and a level of self-awareness. The second examples: caring for, being responsible for and people pleasing are focused endless amounts of output.
Acting in ways that are fueled by someone else’s expectations of you can be exhausting and is not balanced. I am mainly referring to your relationship with other adults who are independent. At times, you may have to care for those who can take care of themselves at times. But it isn’t healthy to do it excessively, that’s known as enabling. You have responsibilities to people but are not responsible for there actions or even their feelings. Being a people pleaser is going to cost you in all areas of your life if you don’t set healthy limits.
Being the best you will involve considering your needs and wants. There is nothing wrong with pleasing your values and beliefs especially when it’s moving you in a better direction. This spring, take a big bold step. Leap toward pleasing the healthiest version of you. If you are a “yes” person…STOP and take a deep breath. If saying no is hard for you say practice it daily. Say “no” to every silly thing that is said to you to desensitize yourself. You are liberating yourself with this exercise. You can also find ways to vary saying no such as: “not today”, “this is a good time”, “I’ll have to think about it”, “I have a lot going on and will pass” or plan old “no”.
If you want to reach your health and weight loss goals this year, it is going to require you saying no to what doesn’t support you. For positive affirmations follow me on Instagram.com/rosasmithmontanaro
I must confess that I am not a Valentine’s Day person. I don’t understand why people spend so much money on cards, candy, flowers, food, etc to show the people they love that they care. Why isn’t everyday a day to celebrate that we are loved. Why do we need proof from our loved ones that they love us? I am not saying I don’t participate in the celebration. I just don’t expect or spend a great deal of money or time on it. I celebrate love everyday. But, that’s me. It makes me smile to be grateful for those I love.
I make it a point to tell and show them that I care. So, I am curious and want to ask you to ponder a few thoughts…..
“What would your life be like if you celebrated love every day?”
“What can you do to show your self that you love you?”
“How do you communicate love to those you care about?”
“How do you like to receive love?”
This is probably not the typical Valentine’s post that you were expecting. I felt moved to share from a different perspective in the hope that you will increase the love that you express and receive in your life. It’s okay to be loving to yourself. Treat you like the people you care deeply about, not just today, do it everyday.
I would like to tell you that even though we may never meet in person, you are very special to me. I am humbled and honored that you take time to read my posts. For more positive and loving affirmations follow me on Instagram.com/rosasmithmontanaro
Reject the shame that blinds you. A lot has been written about shame. I have done a great deal of my own emotional work on feelings of shame and how it affects my decisions. We are given messages when we are not conforming to another persons view that we are the one who is defected. This is a highly manipulative pattern that we blindly enter. Not wanting to disappoint the people we love we entertain their point of view.
Although, their point may be valid and the advice well meaning shame should never be part of the relationship. Shame makes us feel bad and less than others. It is my belief that shame is the harshest, most destructive emotion to our well being. If you need to apologize or mend something that is very different.
Shame is the message that we are not okay, who we are is not good enough. Nothing healthy is coming from this belief. I am writing about this because when you make you and your health a priority people will make comments that are judging. They will “kiddingly” say things about your being selfish, or too busy for them. If you feel the need to apologize, justify or defend yourself, it could be rooted in shame based emotion. Become aware of your inner feelings when you do something healthy.
Be mindful of how you react internally especially when it means saying no or setting boundaries. Don’t break the promise you make to yourself to make healthy choices. Schedule time for meals, exercise, doctor’s appointments, etc. Inquire about the food options and take care of your needs. Most importantly, don’t be blinded by shame and give in to what others want you to do or what you think you are suppose to do. Quiet those voices by journaling, talking to a coach and loud music.
For positive affirmations follow me on Instagram.com/rosasmithmontanaro
Acting “as if” is a very good tool to use in your fitness goals this year. Acting “as if” requires you to go forward into the future…In your mind and believing what you’re pursuing actually is your current reality. This allows you to access resources that will empower you to behave in a way that is congruent with what you want. It’s a healthy mindset that allows you to think in a way that puts your body in motion toward what you most want.
What I like most about acting as if is that I stop and consult my thoughts prior to behaving in a way that moves me forward. For example if I believe that fitness is one of my highest priorities then I will say to myself how will I act if this were true? I would have a workout plan, healthy food choices and communicate that this is important to me. As I act in this way my mind and body will eventually start to believe it.
Ask yourself what you want most for yourself this year. Take time to journal what you would do if this were in fact 100% true for you. Then act “as if” it is!
Follow me on instragram.com/RosaSmithMontanaro for positive affirmations
Goals are good. They provide you with direction. Start this new year assessing where you are and then decide where you want to be. Start with an end in mind. What is your long range goal? Break this down into mini goals. Each mini goal is taking you in a healthier direction. Celebrate these accomplishments! Although they seem small they will stack up quickly and you will be closer to your target.
Let’s assume you want want to lose 20 pounds. That is the long range goal. Some of your mini goals could include:
Having healthy snacks instead of vending machine treats.
Bringing lunch to work that is portion controlled.
Giving up sugar sodas.
Working out 3 times per week.
Drinking 6 glasses of water per day.
Recording your food intake.
You get the idea. Focus on one mini goal at a time. Once it has become second nature to you add another one.
Big changes happen when you make small, consistent changes.
Follow me on instragram.com/RosaSmithMontanaro for positive affirmations
How to trim calories this holiday while still enjoying the festivities. This is often not well received but the reality is all of the food you are going to consume has calories. All calories are not equal. Thinking naturally thin means thinking about what you are going to eat well before you feast. Be mindful of what you plan on eating. Below is a list of where your calories are coming from this holiday. Follow these simple steps to be prepared with a plan for trimming calories without sacrificing enjoyment:
• Look at what you typically will eat.
• Determine what you rarely have and truly enjoy
• Cross-reference the calories and ask if it’s worth the price.
• If it’s worth the calorie load, what type of exercise will you do to reduce the damage.
• Break it down to macronutrients: Protein, Fat and Carbohydrates.
• Each meal and snack should consist of one of each of the macronutrients.
• Decide in advance what you are selecting for each of the categories to make up the meal.
For example if you typically snack on nuts and drink eggnog. You can see that they are almost 800 calories (the macronutrients are primarily fat, protein and carbs) you may realize that you can have those anytime but not the homemade cheesecake. Which has a very similar breakdown macronutrient wise. If it really isn’t worth the calorie load, decide on raw vegetables instead, take a couple sips of egg nog and enjoy the cheesecake. Little modifications go a very long way.
I’ve provided you with some typical foods you may eat during the holidays and what you could choose instead. In some cases it is a lower calorie load. In others it is similar but an exchange, ultimately reducing your calories consumed.
Holiday FeastCalories Replace with
1 glass of sparkling juice 120 Diet soda
1 cup eggnog 343 1 slice cheesecake 372
Irish coffee 218 Coffee with sugar free flavoring
1 glass wine 120 Dry wine alternating with water 85
1 bottle of beer 271 Light beer100
5 large olives 92 ½ cup mixed raw vegetables 25
½ cup mixed nuts 440 ½ cup fresh fruit 60
1 ounce tortilla or potato chips 150 1 oz of soy chips109
1 tablespoon dip for chips 75 2 Tablespoons of hummus 60
2 oz. Swedish meatballs 100 2 oz. boiled shrimp with cocktail sauce 60
ham / dark poultry / prime rib 340 White Meat / Lean meat 150
½ cup stuffing 180 3 cups salad greens 50
½ cup cranberry sauce 190 1 piece pumpkin pie 180
½ cup mashed potatoes 150 ½ Baked potato 60
½ cup green bean casserole 225 ½ cup sautéed green beans 50
1 dinner roll with butter 160 2 small chocolate chip cookies 150
2 tablespoons of ranch dressing 150 Dressing Spray 10
Thinking thin for the holidays means always thinking ahead. What are you going to wear for gatherings this season? Where will you go? What functions will you attend? What will the menu be. Naturally thin people do this as second nature. They have an outfit picked out well in advance. They made decisions on what to eat based on their plans. They want to be comfortable in the clothes they wear and with themselves. They are also active by nature. They move around and get plenty of lifestyle exercise. This is an important distinction for chronic dieters. Keep your mind focused on thinking ahead while you make plans. If you neglect to do this it can sabotage you and cause much distress.
Our goal is coasting through the holidays with zero weight gain! Plan out what you are doing over the next couple of weeks. Schedule time to exercise to burn those calories. Pick out what you are wearing and place it where you can see it. Ask questions regarding where you are going and what will be served. This level of dedication will be admired by those around you.
I am posting positive affirmations on Instagram.com/rosasmithmontanaro to keep you focused and thinking thin.
One of your health goals this holiday is to enjoy the festivities without gaining weight. This is completely obtainable and a wise way to approach the season.
My posts are going to be geared toward thinking naturally thin. Naturally thin people follow an internal set of guidelines to keep them well within their preferred weight and clothing size. I have been studying this for two decades and have taught thousands of people to think thin. You can trust my advice in this area. I will teach you how to change the way you think.
Visualizations and affirmations can and will help you in this area. Take one minute daily to reprogram your mind and body. Imagine that you are naturally thin. You make excellent choices and you feel good living in your body. Remind yourself that you deserve this. It can be that simple!
I am posting positive affirmations on my instragram page to help you stay on track. Follow me @Rosasmithmontanaro view it daily on weekdays and repeat the positive message to yourself three times. Once in the morning, mid-day and before sleep.
By doing this you are aligning with your mind with a healthy body. In time, you will rid your mind of beliefs and images that don’t support a healthy body.
It is estimated that the average person consume an extra 2,000-3,000 calories. It’s easy to do when you calculate the following:
2 crackers with cheese 140
½ cup mixed raw vegetables 25
½ cup mixed nuts 440
1 ounce tortilla or potato chips 150
6 ounces white and dark turkey with skin 345
½ cup stuffing 180
½ cup cranberry sauce 190
½ cup mashed potatoes 150
½ cup gravy 150
½ cup green bean casserole 225
½ cup candied sweet potatoes 150
1 dinner roll 110
1 pat butter 45
1 piece apple pie (1/8 of 9-in pie) 410
1 piece pumpkin pie (1/8 of 9-in pie) 180
½ cup whipped cream 75
1 cup eggnog 343
Here are some tips to help you manage the amount of calories you digest for Thanksgiving.
Have a protein based breakfast. Eggs are filling and will stabilize your blood sugar until you eat your main meal.
Plan what you are eating in advance, it’s okay to pass on foods that you are not crazy about.
Make choices based on macronutrients. Protein, Fat and Carbohydrates. The easy way to do
this is to select your protein, fat, vegetable and one sugar based carb. Do you want the pie, cranberry sauce or eggnog? Your body can digest much easier when there is a protein, fat and fiber balance. Plus it will slow down the sugar in your system.
Burn those extra calories within 24-48 hours. Plan a walk or activity that will help you burn those excess calories before they convert to fat.
Stay focused on the long term goal. I post positive Thinking Thin Affirmations to keep you on track on my Instagram page. If you want to follow me, my username is RosaSmithMontanaro
Thanksgiving is two weeks away. You want to start thinking about it now. I am not referring to the holiday gathering. I mean what will your body feel like on Thanksgiving? What will you be wearing? Will your weight be up / down or the same? The decisions you make today will cause you to take actions that will result in reality. Your future reality is up to you to create, here and now. Think about your daily habits. Ask yourself what will your reality be in a couple of weeks. Then be honest with yourself. How does this reality feel?
If it’s good, keep up the good work. If you feel negative, then you have some new divisions to make. I would suggest you imagine what you’d like instead. Now is the fun part! Take back your power my friend. Identify three changes you can make that will allow you to move closer to what you want and away from what you don’t. I know you can create a reality that makes you smile. Give yourself this gift!
For more tips follow me on www.facebook.com/mindoverplatter1